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Happy Propaganukka! Day 4
well it's almost 10am est, and it's the day before the night before xmas and day 4 of propaganukka. that means three more days to go!
following my enormous rant about the space race on tumblr, i thought i'd take us on a little trip into the stellarsphere with propaganda too. this one is relatively new to my collection, but already near and dear to my heart.
i don't know much about Galaxy High School, but i do know it's the kind of show that had it aired on any of my local stations i would have been a compulsive viewer. i also know that this particular episode won several awards for its relevence/delivery/message/writing...? it IS one of the better propagandas, both in its semi-realistic depiction of a downward slide aaaand also in its quality of writing. there's also other reasons i like it. a few folks might be able to guess at those. but if you can guess, please don't share. i don't like to give out my real name onliOOOOOOPS
so strap in, and prepare for lift-off. we're in for some 90s animated scifi tweenaged goodness with The Brain Blaster.
the production studio logo is a bunch of CG dolphins swimming down a glittering rainbow.
you know you're in good hands.
this is galaxy highschool.
the basic premis of the show is that these two teenagers from earth, doyle (the jock) and amy (the nerd) are kidnapped/selected to go to school in outer space. amy apparently adjusts well and makes lots of friends and becomes popular, while doyle is the repeated target of anti-human racism.
harsh.
but i still wish it's where i'd gone to highschool.
THIS IS THE GYM
I GUESS
sadly galaxy highschool doesn't have the beautiful 70s scifi backgrounds filmation gives its shows.
we start off watching some space sport called "psyche hockey"
from what i can gather the two opponants use helmets that read their brainwaves. this enables them to control little hockey robots.
doyle's hockey robots are blue and yellow.
the goal appears to be to knock the puck into the opposing team's robots, which makes them blip out of existance. the last man standing is the winner.
i'm sure you smell lovely yourself, racist space chicken.
INTENSE CONCENTRATION IS NEEDED HNNNNNNG
there's a lot of great, goofy, toony alien designs in this show.
anyway, doyle wins kind of by a fluke (knocks his puck into a scoreboard and it ricochettes off the opponant's robots) and that means he's going to go on to the championships.
amy is v proud of him, but doyle tells her flat out it's just luck.
NUH UH DOYLE she tells him
IT WAS SKILL FROM HARD WORK AND PRACTICE
way to get lucky says doyle's coach the space frog from the black lagoon
NO COACH IT WAS SKILL FROM HARD WORK AND PRACTICE
well said skills are hardly paying the bills, your ass is flunking.
doyle is informed if he doesn't get his grades up, he won't be allowed to compete in the championships.
is this actually a thing with sports? to be honest i never got into organized sports, so i don't really know.
I WANT YOU IN THOSE CHAMPIONSHIPS, HUMAN
OUR SCHOOL NEVER WON BEFORE IN SPITE OF THOSE TROPHIES BEHIND YOU
HIT THE BOOKS
actually he says "hit the computers" but it's such an awkward modernization i doubt we'll ever say that.
doyle's side job is bussing tables at a pizzaria. how 90s.
his boss is a short hopping italian alien named luigi. i sort of wonder if he's a mario reference but who knows.
anyway doyle is hauling ass so he can hurry back and study
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SHIT ON THIS TABLE
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SHIT ON YOUR FACE, HUMAN
hahahaa sorry sir didn't mean to disturb you
adjusting to life with a variety of extraterrestrials is hard. i imagine doyle is already under a pretty heavy load of stress. not only does he have work and school (which he's failing) he has serious gaijin syndrome and the whole championship riding on him. i do not blame him for the actions he later takes.
byeeee luigi i'm only going to get an hour's worth of sleep tonight with all the studying i have to do after i'm done working for you but whateverrrr
PSST
WHAT IS
A SHADY FIGURE HIDING OUT INT HE PARKING LOT WEARING A TRENCHCOAT?
HE CAN ONLY BE ONE THING
A FLASHER, RUN DOYLE!
this greasy chap is Punk Mcthruster, a drug dealer. NO SURPRISES THERE.
punk introduces himself and informs doyle that he has something which will make the test he has to take tomorrow in space literature easy peasy.
seriously
super simple man you won't even have to worry
ooooooo i've never seen an alien with hairy neckholes before ooooo
what will make his test a breeze?
this thing.
doyle don't kiss the brainblaster that's not how it works
punk explains that a brain blaster can be loaded with liquid brainwaves of any living being, and then those brainwaves are transfered to the user.
which makes you wonder how they get the brainwaves. do they harvest them while people are asleep? do they radiate off the works of artists, or hover around the courts of athletes?
doyle is skeptical. the idea of forcing another being's brainwaves into his skull for the sake of success sounds risky.
it does, too. i mean jesus you'd basicly be running a completely alien electrical current through the most complex bit of computational machinery you own. YOUR BRAIN.
so thanks but no thanks, punk, i'll just take the test on my own.
doyle tries to be a good kid. he does. he doesn't seem too bright, though.
punk gives him his business card, just in case he changes his mind. IT BLINKS NEON!
why would a drug dealer have a business card, that sounds like a pretty big personal risk to me.
the next day is TEST DAAAAAAY
obviously doyle's "stay up all night working and then hope what i study afterwards sticks" plan hasn't panned out.
he asks the teacher if he can take the test over again tomorrow and she says yes.
WHAT TEACHER WOULD SAY YES OH MY GOD
but it's an oral exam
WHAT FORGIVING WONDERFUL TEACHER WOULD DO THIS FOR THEIR STUDENT!?
doyle tries to study that night, but his inherit athlete's ADD appears to get in the way.
HE MAKES
THE CALL
see now you know punk's a wierdo
cause he wears sandles
doyle, pressured by the threat of 1) failing and 2) losing the championship for his school (and an assortment of other stressors emphesized earlier) decides that maybe the risk of boiling his cranial fluid is worth it.
punk explains a brain blaster is like a car (well, "space taxi.") it's only dangerous depending on who's driving.
it's both telling and amazing that the most realistic advice on drug use thus far in any of these propagandas has come from the PURPLE ALIEN DRUG DEALER.
WELP
I GOT NO DIGNITY ANYWAY, HAVE AT IT.
punk apparently carries brainwaves from such celebrities as "comedian bill cosmos" and "william qwarksphere"
oh galaxy highschool, you so dated
william qwarksphere is what the lit test is on so
LOAD EM ON UP
ehehe
GZZZZZZZZT
GZZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzZZZZZZZT
SWOOOOOOOSH
OH NO, HES A CHOPPED UP HOTDOG
carrots?
10000 internet fetishists go to get a clean pair of pants
after zooming around the parking lot like a deflated balloon, doyle is finally done with his brain blast. damn, son. good thing you didn't do that indoors.
PRETTY GOOD EHHHHHH
MOMMY
MOMMY CAN YOU HEAR ME
I DIDNT GO ON THE TRAINTRACKS ON PURPOSE MOMMY
i guess i should also mention that immediately after using the brain blaster, doyle develops a cali surfer inflection in his voice. LIKE WHOAAA, DUUUUUUDE etc.
not that i'm one to really talk
well i mean i do
with a hint of that
but well LETS JUST MOVE ALONG
doyle feels like he's about to have a heart attack while taking the exam. shit son i don't blame you, why in god's name did you think getting stoned before class would be a good ideaaaaaa
so tell me about hamlet
WELL ITS KIND OF OVERRATED BUT STILL A LOT OF FUN TO WATCH. A SPOILED EMO KID WHO'S MAD AT HIS MOTHER DISCOVERS SHE SECRETLY PLOTTED TO KILL HIS FATHER AND GOES ON A BIT OF A MAD MURDER SPREE, DESCENDING FROM FEIGNED MADNESS INTO ACTUAL MADNESS BEFORE BEING SENT AWAY ON VACATION
HIS SUDDEN CHANGE AFTER THE RETURN IS WHAT SPARKED THE PHRASE "SEA CHANGE" IN REFERENCE TO A CHARACTER OR PERSON DOING A 180 WITH THEIR PERSONALITY AFTER DISTANT TRAVEL. I SUPPOSE THE IMPLICATION IS THAT HAMLET LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT HIMSELF OR EXPERIENCED SOMETHING ABOUT HIMSELF WHICH LEAD TO A MORE REALISTIC AND CONIVING OUTLOOK ON HIS SITUATION, THOUGH WE NEVER LEARN WHAT THAT IS.
not bad
i'll give you a B if you stop spinning around my classroom
please
AAAAAAAA OH GOD
WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE MONSTER
amy and her friends gossip a little about how doyle suddenly got hella more smart aboutshakeqwarksphere and that none of them even helped him study. but for the most part they seem proud (thinking he achieved this knowledge through hard work) and don't suspect anything yet.
PUNK
PUNK PSSSSSST
WHERE ARE YOU DUDE
he actually says dude, it hurts my heart a little to hear that constantly associated with the stereotype of drug abuse. i love that word, it's such a beautiful unisex informal 90s word for refering to any living thing.
THAT WORKED GREAT HOLY SHIT THE TEACHER GAVE ME A B :D
this is how we learn, folks. if we do something and get a positive reaction (aka take drugs and have them followed with praise) our mind pairs it together and we begin to associate A with B. it's pavlov's dogs, albert's white rat, every bit of conditioning ever. even if those two aren't necessarily related. doyle feels that drugs help him pass the tests (and with this fictional drug, they kinda do) so he goes back for more.
after all, dude's in danger of flunking and a flunk means no championship. if he can just kind of skim through the tests on others' brainwaves heeeeey no problem right?
next test up, sssssspace physics? i think he gets suggested some einstein knockoff name. i think it was Albert Alienstein.
but this one'll cost ya
well i have this wallet i guess
YOINK
punk doesn't count or really look at the contents of the wallet, just takes the whole thing. what if it just had like 20 bucks in there? i mean the kid's working part time at a pizzaria after school. he can't possibly have that much in his wallet.
am i going to turn into sushi again?
nope, just fly into the sky and explode.
i gotta say i really like the fluidity of the animation in this. the backgrounds may not be that much to look at, but the characters themselves just move real nice and springy.
OH GOD THIS SHIT IS HORRIBLE
DUDE
meet doctor icenstein
he has a german accent
doyle
doyle stop looking at the picture of an ass someone painted on the ceiling
things that tweak my jewfear:
german voiced doctor characters in this pose
it's
chilling
hohoho
READY SET TAKE TEST
AND DONT LOOK AT THE SMILEYFACE ON THE CHALKBOARD BEHIND ME
DONE
abuuuuuuuh
i like this tiny little grading machine icenstein has. but i hate grading machines because when you remove the human element from correcting a test you also remove any chance for personal defense of an answer.
for example say your test is a picture of a baby carriage and the question is "what's the first letter of this object?" and your choices are B, C or P. well B could be it - baby carriage. C could be it - carriage. even P could be it, for pram. but if the computer has one scripted correct answer, the student has no hope of their option being defensable if it's marked wrong because you can't argue with a computer (and most teachers these days barely even care to get into it). also that was a real question on a real test. in second grade, but still.
HOW DID YOU GET 100% IN TWO SECONDS
me personally i would have suspected doyle of cheating right at this point
teach, don't lecture me on what is and isn't possible. also don't ask why i'm getting dark rings under my eyes. it's a style, teach.
braaaaaains
i mean brainblaaaaaaaaaaasts
YIPPIE PUNK PUNKO MAH BUD MAH MAIN MAN WOOOOOOO
GIMME DRUGS FOR GYM CLASS
this is where the story begins to slip into unbelievable territory. i can believe easily doyle'd take drugs to help him pass two tests if his grades are sliding, but the kid's a jock. he has no reason to want to take drugs to pass gym because in all likelyhood he already does just fine in gym. also it's not totally clear how much time has passed between his brain blasts. one day? two? three? i think it's two judging by earlier in the episode stating when the championships are. uh.
but this just seems rather pointless. maybe the point is to illustrate he's starting to feel like a brain blast will help him with everything, all the time, even stuff he's good at all on his own?
anyway Punk tells him how much it'll cost
WHOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
so doyle runs off and uh
well he throws all his posessions in a box. i really don't know, this is why i say it stretches it at this point.
like i said, he doesn't NEED the drugs for gym. he's already passing gym. so why would he feel so desperate for a hit before gym class that he'd hock all his belongings?
apparently this phone doesn't actually belong to him
didn't know that honestly.
HERE YA GO
BIG BOX OF MY STUFF WITH MY NAME ON IT
TOTALLY UNTRACABLE
this is the face i make when i'm afraid something might fall on me
like the kitchen light
and this is the face i'd make if it actually fell on me
WHAT
DID DRUGS JUST TURN HIM INTO A ROOSTER
I GUESS THEY DID
ALSO A DRAGON????
AND SMOKE???
YEAH, THAT'S HOW I'D FEEL TOO
punk asks him if it's getting any better when he brain blasts. i guess he means like, less horrible.
NOT SO BAD ONCE YOU GET USED TO IT DUDE
i can't imagine anyone would ever get USED to turning into a chicken/dragon/sushi/fireworks
later...
FUCK YOU FUCKING LOCKER GIVE ME MY BAG FUCK
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S GALAXY GEOGRAPHY CLASS NEXT
WHY DOES THE GALAXY HAVE GEOGRAPHY GRAPHED ONTO A GLOBE THAT MAKES NO SENSE
IT'S A DISC
so doyle goes to geography class totally stoned
you can tell by the looks of the others that he's not hiding it well.
oh desk i love you
you're my real best friend
hush now
only whispers
the teacher, who is some kind of crater faced midget who requires a magnifying camera to even teach, has noticed doyle's behavior
kind of hard not to when he's making out with his wrist
HI, I'M PROFESSOR CRATERSTONE
SAY NO TO DRUGS
doyle leaps over his desk and takes over the class
SEE THIS SPHERICAL REPRESENTATION OF THE "GALAXY"?
WHY'S IT HAVE A GALAXY ON IT
WHY'S THE SUN PROMINANTLY FEATURED IN A SPHERE VERSION OF THE GALAXY? WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A HOLOGRAM OF IT IN ITS ACTUAL SHAPE?
USING A SPHERE TO REPRESENT OUR GALAXY IS ABOUT AS IGNORANT AS SAYING THE EARTH IS AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
I MEAN I'M JUST SAYIN WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO DRIVE THROUGH SPACE IN CARS AND BUILD HOCKEY PLAYIN ROBOTS?
BUT THIS IS STILL HOW WE VIEW OUR UNIVERSE?
DAMN, MAN
i love that he's angry TO THE CAMERA which in turn makes his projected image angry TOWARDS DOYLE. i just
i can't even :,>
i imagine lunch at galaxy high is pretty tough, you have such a wide variety of species you'd have to have like 300 different things to serve.
I DONT KNOW IF I LIKE HOW DOYLE'S BEEN ACTING says amy
REALLY SPACED OUT.
he's probably fine, says the pink lightbulb alien.
amy genuinely does sound worried here, and says out loud she hopes nothing bad happens to doyle - whatever's going on with him
aw amy :>
GOTTA GO FAST
punk looks really pleased to see doyle totally blazed out of his brain
oh god i just realized the internet probably has slash of them somewhere
and if it didn't, it probably does now
HAAAAAY PUNK
GIMME ANOTHER BLAST
I DONT NEED IT FOR A CLASS OR NOTHING ITLL JUST BE FUN
HOOK ME UP G
doyle has a sudden relapse of silenthill2 maniquin syndrome in response to the price a blast costs
fortunately this time his head remains attached. punk is unimpressed.
apparently the blast now costs as much as a car. if you're doing a drug that one dose is equivolent to the cost of a car (new OR used)? ITS TIME TO SEEK SOME HELP OR AT LEAST A CHEAPER DRUG, OKAY?
i don't even know if a drug exists that costs that much to be honest
also why does the price keep going up? it reminds me of bender selling roses. DEMAND SUDDENLY SKYROCKETED, YOU ALL SAW IT!
alternative answer: punk is just fleecing him cause he's a stupid earth boy
hum dee doo here we are doyle's friends on our way to our car mince mince mince
:O CAR GONE!
the face of a man making love to a skeleton
punk's all THANKS FOR THE RIDE
doyle's all THANKS FOR THE DRUGS
punk actually cautions him to take it easy, here. lemme repeat that
THE DRUG DEALER CAUTIONS HIM TO TAKE IT EASY ON HIS DRUG USE. his exact words are "take it easy on this stuff or you'll get really messed up."
so punk's not a BAD guy, he's not out to take over the world or kill/hurt children. he's just in it for the business. that almost never, ever happens in propaganda and the dealer CERTAINLY never advises moderation. if for nothing but that depiction, i'd say this deserves whatever award it was that it got.
doyle doesn't immediately use the brainwaves he just traded his friends' car for, and sneaks back to the school.
cause if it's one place you want to skulk around with pockets full of drugs, it's a school full of sentient robotic appliances.
NO WAY BUDDY
DO NOT PUT THAT IN ME
this is the real reason there's minimal drug use at galaxy high. self-aware lockers.
NO BRAIN BLASTER
IM SENTIENT, IM NOT TAKING THE RAP FOR YOU IF I GET SEARCHED
shhhhhhh
the walls have ears
HEY KIDS
WHATS COOKIN
WHATS HOT
those are his actual lines
that's like something parents would say if they walked in on a party a bunch of 16year olds were having
dude, someone stole our car!
also the phone from your room. and a bunch of other stuff. hell's up with that? we didn't call the police or anything but jeez.
doyle attempts a quick cover
UH YEAH MY DORM ROOM WAS TRASHED, I GOT HIT TOO
he's been taking hits he means
LOCKER SHHHHHH
well i'll just ignore what your locker said and hope that we somehow find those items
fatty stop groping bulbgirl out of shot, we all know what's going on we can all see your faces
so doyle heads to the locker room for psych hockey practice to blast his brains
you know it does feel weird to repeatedly type my name for a character in one of these BUT IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN SOME DAY
at this point doyle hears punk's words of "take it easy on this stuff or you'll get really messed up" echo. AGAIN, THE DRUG DEALER IS THE VOICE OF MODERATION HERE.
aw yeah
gimme dat sweet necter
THRILLERRRRRRR
THRILLER NIIIIIGHT
you might be urged to sing a little bit out of White Rabbit here
but i urge you to refrain
ITS THE HUMAN BLENDER RUN
what the fuck is that yellow wig with wings doing here
this is the face most people make when they listen to dubstep
i'm pretty sure
galaxy highschool: where losing your virginity and doing drugs basicly look the same
so this freakish wig watches doyle get high and then dance off to the playing field
god this wig alien is creepy
WHY DOES IT HAVE A CHAIN
BBALBBALLBBALLBAABABKAABBABABABAALALA
DAHOOOOO
8|
GET SOME REST
AND GET THIS FLY OFF MY LIP
much better
like i was saying, get some rest. your tweaking out like this makes me think you've been studying too hard.
by the way, championship's tomorrow. HOPE YOU'RE READY
CAUSE WE ARE GONNA WIN
BY WE I MEAN YOU
AND ILL BEAT YOUR EARTH ASS UNCONCIOUS IF YOU DONT
bbbbwooooookakakakakakka
i am gonna go right through this door
zwoop
doyle sets off in search of punk, because i guess at this point after three days of back to back brainblasting he really wants (or thinks he needs?) a brain blast for the championship.
i guess this is believable. i mean you spend three days on a drug bender with a drug that, when you need it to, kicks in and gives you the amplified abilities of champions. and the rest of the time you just stumble around all stupid happy and numb. so i guess it'd be reasonable that with his logic totally addled he'd think this was a good idea.
also punk hinted earlier in the show that he gives drugs to athletes to improve their skills.
OH DUDE
LOOK AT THAT WEDDING DRESS
THAT'S SO SAD
anyway he finds punk getting a new suit tailored. i guess punk was tired of the "flasher hobo sandles" look and decided to bring it up a notch to "purple pinstripe zoot suit"
can't say i fault him, it goes with his looks.
kid listen to me
first of all, super rude to go harass your drug peddler in public for drugs. that's a real good way to get your peddler arressted or at the very least have them cut off all contact with you
secondly, i'm busy jesus
and thirdly dude
thirdly
i have no drugs
i am clean
my supplier got caught on a run, so i got nothing
doyle can not take this information and asks where else he might get some brain waves.
punk whispers the location, and cautions that it's a really dangerous place.
meanwhile at the pizzaria, people seem to be waving their arms angrily for some reason.
there's a giant number two just sitting there
does anyone else see that? why is it there?
doyle's friends ask his boss if he's seen him at all. apparently he's been missing for a while and the championship game is tonight.
luigi threatens doyle with bodily harm, unemployment, etc. apparently he hasn't shown up to work and that's why everyone's all pissed off, including a digit.
GO AWAY YOU FREAKY WIG
hi kids i'm olly the bacterial cab driver
i know where your friend is. he went to south andromeda
that's where brain blasters all hang out. he tried to get me to drive him there but i took him to the bus station instead.
narky the wig tells them all he saw doyle taking hits off a brain blaster
THANKS NARKY WAY TO SPEAK UP BEFORE NOW
DO NOT SING
I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND FEED YOU TO A SPACE DOBERMAN IF YOU EVER SING AGAIN YOU ARE TERRIBLE AT IT OH MY GOD
amy, being a good friend, realizes they're going to have to intervene unless they want to see doyle seriously hurt. apparnetly south andromeda is seriously rough. she'll address this whole brain blasting thing later, when she knows what's going on for sure
because she does not trust the flying, singing wig
and i wouldn't either
TO SOUTH ANDROMEDA WEEEE
doyle, meanwhile, is on the space bus
space bus
looks like every bus i've ever ridden on, to be truthful.
doyle's stuck sitting in front of two south andromedia...andromadi...andromedod...TWO GUYS FROM THE PLACE HES GOING TO who really hate humans
i mean it
their entire conversation is about how gross humans are and how if they ever see one they'll beat the shit out of it
self preservation is in high gear, even on drugs
i have no idea who these aliens are, but the one on the left keeps talking about going to see her mother in a nasally voice that i guess is supposed to be like Fran the Nanny?
i bet if she's a regular she gets REALLY annoying
OH NO THEY NOTICE HIM LOOK OUT DOYLE
PURSE TO THE RESCUE
next stop drug city
i mean south andromeda
so south andromeda is...space vegas?
OH MAN GUYS LOOK AT THIS PLACE
HOTELS
AND A SHOW
AND A CAFE
AND AN ANK
MAN I WANT TO GO TO THE ANK YOU GUYS
you know it's a rough neighborhood because the C fell off their disco
no town with any self respect would let their disco fall into such a state of disrepair
apparently everyone in south andromeda is on brain blasters, all the time
hey wait A BALOSAR?
WHY ARE YOU GETTING OFF HEEEEEEERE THIS IS A TERRRRRRRIBLE NEIGHBORHOOOOOOOD whines the pink fran alien
well if for nothing else, to get the hell away from your wretched voice
so doyle starts wandering the streets whispering at strangers where he can get brainwaves
i'd fault him for subtlety but they all have brain blasters on. so rather than it being like walking through times square asking strangers where to buy crack, it'd be like walking through a crackhouse asking where to buy crack
helloooo
why is your nose a heaaaaaart
spare a brainwave for a human down on his luck?
jesus look at that pink guy in the background
uhoh, the two ruffians from the bus have spotted him
and they're going to make good on their threat to beat up an earthling
HEY LOOK A DAISY ALIEN!
RUN DOYLE RUN AAAAAAA
oh god oh god oh god don't come down this narrow alley from which i have no escape pleeeease
meanwhile in olly's taxi...
HURRY OLLY BEFORE WE'RE TOO LATE
AND HE GETS HURT OR BUYS DRUGS OR
I DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT JUST HURRY IM TOO GOOD A FRIEND TO FEEL ANYTHING BUT WORRY RIGHT NOW
amy :>
uhohhhh looks like doyle's found a drug dealer
this is a trustworthy fellow, right?
i mean when it comes down to drugs you just go to a random stranger, that's the way to do it. nope, no concern for your personal safety or the content of your drugs. just STRANGER LET ME HAND YOU MONEY IN RETURN FOR A PRODUCT I HAVENT SAMPLED
OH GOD HES NOT A DRUG DEALER
HE'S A FLASHER
THAT IS NOT A FACE YOU WANT TO SEE WHEN SOMEONE SWINGS OPEN THEIR JACKET TO SHOW YOU WHAT'S UNDERNEITH
haha just kidding he has brainwaves
and doyle agrees to pay him in the form of pizza.
aliens are weird.
PFFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
ooooh shit it's those guys who hate humans and swore they'd kill any human in south andromeda and previously chased me into an alley with the intent of beating me up
GOTTA GO FAST
did they see him?
yeah. they saw him.
doyle i hate to be a critic
especially since you're a big athlete and all but
you might run faster if you weren't trying to run sideways
OH NO A WALL
HOW DID THIS GET HERE
want to go to the pop store
watch the lumps on his arm
now you see 'em.
now you don't. quality animating.
they stop aburptly because out of somewhere comes a voice going THIS IS THE POLICE WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED
i guess hate crimes are still hate crimes, even in south andromeda. they flee.
SURPRISE ITS NOT THE POLICE ITS JUST US
YOU OKAY DOYLE?
oh yeah he looks great
welp let's go
DRINK
ROCK
ROCK
1126
HOTEL
rough place
other than olly, everyone seems genuinely glad to have doyle back safe in the cab, and not murdered by a gang.
amy confesses they were concerned he might have been brain blasting in south andromeda
DUDE WHY WOULD I BRAIN BLAST THERE, THIS IS FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP
YUP
THE CHAAAAAAMPIONSHIIIIIIIP
YOU THROW THAT OUT THE WINDOW RIGHT NOW
YOINK
how do you have six hands and find not a one of them capable of HOLDING A TINY VIAL?
DEHHHHHH 8}
fortunately bulbgirl has a phsyics-defying idea. OPEN THE WINDOW IN SPACE WOO
i missed capping it but she grabbed the vial
ALLEY OOP
NOOOOO
WAIT OH GOD MY FACE IS BEING SUCKED INTO VACCUUM
AAAAAAUGHUAHGAUUUUUUUGH
aaaaand back to the school
this is more or less the scene at the doctor's office any time i knew i was getting a shot, as a child
not a pretty scene
welp. time for the championship. i'm sure doyle will do great between the withdrawl, the fighting with his friends, and the general pressure of all the other aforementioned things. and his brain should be in tiptop shape after assaulting it with alien waves for a few days, sure
understandably he'd much rather just throw the match
AMY I CANT DO THIS WITHOUT A BRAIN BLAST
amy insists he has to do it anyway, because otherwise he'll never believe in himself something something something besides, he can't stay hooked on brain blasters forever
girl has a point, that shit did not appear cheap.
D.A.R.E
drugs are really expensive.
AND JUST TO MAKE EXTRA SURE YOU PLAY YOUR BEST
I HATE HUMANS, I HATE YOU, ILL KILL YOU IF YOU LOSE.
NO PRESSURE THOUGH
NO PRESSURE, THOUGH.
doyle debates throwing up on his face or bursting into tears
alright enough of this crap
LET'S BLOW UP SOME ROBOTS WITH OUR BRAINS
doyle's opponant is some kind of space gorilla
i bet if doyle hadn't got so freaked out over his grades/the racism/money/drugs/work/friends/everything he'd probably beat this guy easy
cause c'mon, space gorilla
they don't have a superior intellect no matter what that shit book "Ishmael" says.
awwwww he's scared awww
shut up i think it's a genuinely good frame in that it conveys his emotional state pretty solidly GO TO HELL IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE
doyle's blue/yellow again, space ape is orange.
and then someone ran naked down the middle of the playing field OOOOOOPS
i imagine this isn't as interesting as real hockey, because fewer fist fights break out.
on the other hand if a fist fight between robots DID break out, that'd be awesome.
doyle takes an early lead
look at some of these guys. is that a kappa in the very bottom row? is that some sort of adorable FLY ALIEN in the row above him on the far left? this show is my soul.
HOW DARE YOU TAKE OUT EVEN ONE OF MY GUYS DURING A GAME WHERE THE OBJECT IS TO TAKE OUT THE OTHER PLAYER'S GUYS
I HATE HUMANS
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
penalty, no robot sex on the field red team
doyle starts losing pretty fast
those robots are dying because of me
BECAUSE OF ME
OH GOD I CANT HANDLE THIS THE DTS ARE KICKING IN NGGGGG
crashing two of your robots right into eachother is a real crowd pleaser
welp, looks like he actually CAN'T win without drugs. who knew.
so doyle loses, and the space ape smarms it up
drugs are bad
but betting on sports is fine, gambling is totally harmless
i mean if this space chicken has to pay his debt by feeling himself up that's his choice right
YOU KNOW
I WOULD HAVE WON IF YOU GUYS JUST LET ME DO DRUGS BEFORE THE GAME :|
frogman from the black lagoon is just about to announce spaceape as the champ, wheeen
a galaxy police cop sidles up to him and whispers in his fin.
HMMMMM
excuse me mr ape
i'm going to conduct an illegal search of your person right now
what was this brain blaster doing under your shirt?
just holding it for a friend, eh? well let's just see if we can get your friend on the phone
DOWNTOWN
dohohoho galaxy policecop you're so FORWARD
seriosuly does it look like he's getting his butt grabbed to anyone but me
THE REAL MORAL: DON'T DO DRUGS TO WIN AT SPORTS, CAUSE THAT'S REALLY WHEN YOU'LL GET CAUGHT AND REGRET IT.
THE WINNER BECAUSE THE OTHER GUY WAS ON DRUGS
AND WE'RE TOO LAZY FOR A REMATCH
IS
THAT HUMAN KID THE CHICKEN IS BEATING UP ON
PLEASE BEAT UP ON HIM AFTER HE RECEIVES THE TROPHY, SPACE CHICKEN.
space chicken drawn by little gracie
age six
GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY YOU HORNFACED ALIEN FREAK
psst you haven't been brain blasting have you?
well actually coach i-
HAVE YOU??? HINT HINT
doyle says he owes his friends an apology and he really did it on his own without drugs yada yada yada...
except he didn't, he only won because the other guy got CAUGHT with drugs. ultimately if they'd both got caught with drugs it'd probably cause a ripple effect and brain blasting in general would be harder to do in the future but you know whatever
WHATEVER
i still don't blame him for turning to drugs considering the pressures he was being put under.
for extra confusing morals, lightbulbgirl admits here she tried a brain blaster once herself
she said nothing happened but that's like saying you took a puff and didn't inhale. I DONT BELIEEEEEVE
I WILL GET BACK YOUR STUFF THAT I STOLE
wait you stole our stuff?
WAIT GET BACK HERE WHEN DID YOU STEAL OUR STUFF
oh hey, what luck. the galaxy police are arresting punk at exactly this same time
punk whines that he's innocent, and i do have to wonder what he's getting arrested for
i mean he didn't have any brain blasts the last time doyle talked to him so can't imagine it's posession with the intent to supply
BUT WHATEVER LETS JUST END THIS STUPID CARTOON say the writers
well here's your stuff
good thing he didn't fence any of it
SPEAKING OF FENCE
I'M GOING TO USE ONE TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE WHAT DO YOU MEAN SKIPPING WORK
ALSO THERE'S SOME GUY IN HERE TO SEE YOU
HE SAID YOU PROMISED HIM PIZZA FOR DRUGS
GET YOUR ASS ON THAT CAUSE IT'LL BE HELLA LOTTA LONG NIGHTS AND HARD WORK TO PAY HIM OFF FOR THAT
WHAT? YOU NEED TO STUDY? TOO FUCKING BAD, NOW YOU HAVE TO WORK.
hahaha drug debt is funny
so what did we learn from today's Propaganukka gift?
well, we learned that pressure (like failing school, or being told the entire championship rides on you, or racism) can lead to drug use. we also learned that real friends are willing to help you BEFORE they lecture you, that sometimes your friends might also have tried drugs, and that drugs will get you kicked out of a sports tournament.
wait what the!
DID WE ACTUALLY LEARN REAL FACTS AND MORALS ABOUT DRUG USE TODAY?
WHAT THE FUCK
well it was all wrapped up in a nice package with lightbulb aliens, singing wigs and surfer talk so i guess that's okay.
see you tomorrow, everybody! get ready for your next present!
following my enormous rant about the space race on tumblr, i thought i'd take us on a little trip into the stellarsphere with propaganda too. this one is relatively new to my collection, but already near and dear to my heart.
i don't know much about Galaxy High School, but i do know it's the kind of show that had it aired on any of my local stations i would have been a compulsive viewer. i also know that this particular episode won several awards for its relevence/delivery/message/writing...? it IS one of the better propagandas, both in its semi-realistic depiction of a downward slide aaaand also in its quality of writing. there's also other reasons i like it. a few folks might be able to guess at those. but if you can guess, please don't share. i don't like to give out my real name onliOOOOOOPS
so strap in, and prepare for lift-off. we're in for some 90s animated scifi tweenaged goodness with The Brain Blaster.
the production studio logo is a bunch of CG dolphins swimming down a glittering rainbow.
you know you're in good hands.
this is galaxy highschool.
the basic premis of the show is that these two teenagers from earth, doyle (the jock) and amy (the nerd) are kidnapped/selected to go to school in outer space. amy apparently adjusts well and makes lots of friends and becomes popular, while doyle is the repeated target of anti-human racism.
harsh.
but i still wish it's where i'd gone to highschool.
THIS IS THE GYM
I GUESS
sadly galaxy highschool doesn't have the beautiful 70s scifi backgrounds filmation gives its shows.
we start off watching some space sport called "psyche hockey"
from what i can gather the two opponants use helmets that read their brainwaves. this enables them to control little hockey robots.
doyle's hockey robots are blue and yellow.
the goal appears to be to knock the puck into the opposing team's robots, which makes them blip out of existance. the last man standing is the winner.
i'm sure you smell lovely yourself, racist space chicken.
INTENSE CONCENTRATION IS NEEDED HNNNNNNG
there's a lot of great, goofy, toony alien designs in this show.
anyway, doyle wins kind of by a fluke (knocks his puck into a scoreboard and it ricochettes off the opponant's robots) and that means he's going to go on to the championships.
amy is v proud of him, but doyle tells her flat out it's just luck.
NUH UH DOYLE she tells him
IT WAS SKILL FROM HARD WORK AND PRACTICE
way to get lucky says doyle's coach the space frog from the black lagoon
NO COACH IT WAS SKILL FROM HARD WORK AND PRACTICE
well said skills are hardly paying the bills, your ass is flunking.
doyle is informed if he doesn't get his grades up, he won't be allowed to compete in the championships.
is this actually a thing with sports? to be honest i never got into organized sports, so i don't really know.
I WANT YOU IN THOSE CHAMPIONSHIPS, HUMAN
OUR SCHOOL NEVER WON BEFORE IN SPITE OF THOSE TROPHIES BEHIND YOU
HIT THE BOOKS
actually he says "hit the computers" but it's such an awkward modernization i doubt we'll ever say that.
doyle's side job is bussing tables at a pizzaria. how 90s.
his boss is a short hopping italian alien named luigi. i sort of wonder if he's a mario reference but who knows.
anyway doyle is hauling ass so he can hurry back and study
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SHIT ON THIS TABLE
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SHIT ON YOUR FACE, HUMAN
hahahaa sorry sir didn't mean to disturb you
adjusting to life with a variety of extraterrestrials is hard. i imagine doyle is already under a pretty heavy load of stress. not only does he have work and school (which he's failing) he has serious gaijin syndrome and the whole championship riding on him. i do not blame him for the actions he later takes.
byeeee luigi i'm only going to get an hour's worth of sleep tonight with all the studying i have to do after i'm done working for you but whateverrrr
PSST
WHAT IS
A SHADY FIGURE HIDING OUT INT HE PARKING LOT WEARING A TRENCHCOAT?
HE CAN ONLY BE ONE THING
A FLASHER, RUN DOYLE!
this greasy chap is Punk Mcthruster, a drug dealer. NO SURPRISES THERE.
punk introduces himself and informs doyle that he has something which will make the test he has to take tomorrow in space literature easy peasy.
seriously
super simple man you won't even have to worry
ooooooo i've never seen an alien with hairy neckholes before ooooo
what will make his test a breeze?
this thing.
doyle don't kiss the brainblaster that's not how it works
punk explains that a brain blaster can be loaded with liquid brainwaves of any living being, and then those brainwaves are transfered to the user.
which makes you wonder how they get the brainwaves. do they harvest them while people are asleep? do they radiate off the works of artists, or hover around the courts of athletes?
doyle is skeptical. the idea of forcing another being's brainwaves into his skull for the sake of success sounds risky.
it does, too. i mean jesus you'd basicly be running a completely alien electrical current through the most complex bit of computational machinery you own. YOUR BRAIN.
so thanks but no thanks, punk, i'll just take the test on my own.
doyle tries to be a good kid. he does. he doesn't seem too bright, though.
punk gives him his business card, just in case he changes his mind. IT BLINKS NEON!
why would a drug dealer have a business card, that sounds like a pretty big personal risk to me.
the next day is TEST DAAAAAAY
obviously doyle's "stay up all night working and then hope what i study afterwards sticks" plan hasn't panned out.
he asks the teacher if he can take the test over again tomorrow and she says yes.
WHAT TEACHER WOULD SAY YES OH MY GOD
but it's an oral exam
WHAT FORGIVING WONDERFUL TEACHER WOULD DO THIS FOR THEIR STUDENT!?
doyle tries to study that night, but his inherit athlete's ADD appears to get in the way.
HE MAKES
THE CALL
see now you know punk's a wierdo
cause he wears sandles
doyle, pressured by the threat of 1) failing and 2) losing the championship for his school (and an assortment of other stressors emphesized earlier) decides that maybe the risk of boiling his cranial fluid is worth it.
punk explains a brain blaster is like a car (well, "space taxi.") it's only dangerous depending on who's driving.
it's both telling and amazing that the most realistic advice on drug use thus far in any of these propagandas has come from the PURPLE ALIEN DRUG DEALER.
WELP
I GOT NO DIGNITY ANYWAY, HAVE AT IT.
punk apparently carries brainwaves from such celebrities as "comedian bill cosmos" and "william qwarksphere"
oh galaxy highschool, you so dated
william qwarksphere is what the lit test is on so
LOAD EM ON UP
ehehe
GZZZZZZZZT
GZZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzZZZZZZZT
SWOOOOOOOSH
OH NO, HES A CHOPPED UP HOTDOG
carrots?
10000 internet fetishists go to get a clean pair of pants
after zooming around the parking lot like a deflated balloon, doyle is finally done with his brain blast. damn, son. good thing you didn't do that indoors.
PRETTY GOOD EHHHHHH
MOMMY
MOMMY CAN YOU HEAR ME
I DIDNT GO ON THE TRAINTRACKS ON PURPOSE MOMMY
i guess i should also mention that immediately after using the brain blaster, doyle develops a cali surfer inflection in his voice. LIKE WHOAAA, DUUUUUUDE etc.
not that i'm one to really talk
well i mean i do
with a hint of that
but well LETS JUST MOVE ALONG
doyle feels like he's about to have a heart attack while taking the exam. shit son i don't blame you, why in god's name did you think getting stoned before class would be a good ideaaaaaa
so tell me about hamlet
WELL ITS KIND OF OVERRATED BUT STILL A LOT OF FUN TO WATCH. A SPOILED EMO KID WHO'S MAD AT HIS MOTHER DISCOVERS SHE SECRETLY PLOTTED TO KILL HIS FATHER AND GOES ON A BIT OF A MAD MURDER SPREE, DESCENDING FROM FEIGNED MADNESS INTO ACTUAL MADNESS BEFORE BEING SENT AWAY ON VACATION
HIS SUDDEN CHANGE AFTER THE RETURN IS WHAT SPARKED THE PHRASE "SEA CHANGE" IN REFERENCE TO A CHARACTER OR PERSON DOING A 180 WITH THEIR PERSONALITY AFTER DISTANT TRAVEL. I SUPPOSE THE IMPLICATION IS THAT HAMLET LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT HIMSELF OR EXPERIENCED SOMETHING ABOUT HIMSELF WHICH LEAD TO A MORE REALISTIC AND CONIVING OUTLOOK ON HIS SITUATION, THOUGH WE NEVER LEARN WHAT THAT IS.
not bad
i'll give you a B if you stop spinning around my classroom
please
AAAAAAAA OH GOD
WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE MONSTER
amy and her friends gossip a little about how doyle suddenly got hella more smart about
PUNK
PUNK PSSSSSST
WHERE ARE YOU DUDE
he actually says dude, it hurts my heart a little to hear that constantly associated with the stereotype of drug abuse. i love that word, it's such a beautiful unisex informal 90s word for refering to any living thing.
THAT WORKED GREAT HOLY SHIT THE TEACHER GAVE ME A B :D
this is how we learn, folks. if we do something and get a positive reaction (aka take drugs and have them followed with praise) our mind pairs it together and we begin to associate A with B. it's pavlov's dogs, albert's white rat, every bit of conditioning ever. even if those two aren't necessarily related. doyle feels that drugs help him pass the tests (and with this fictional drug, they kinda do) so he goes back for more.
after all, dude's in danger of flunking and a flunk means no championship. if he can just kind of skim through the tests on others' brainwaves heeeeey no problem right?
next test up, sssssspace physics? i think he gets suggested some einstein knockoff name. i think it was Albert Alienstein.
but this one'll cost ya
well i have this wallet i guess
YOINK
punk doesn't count or really look at the contents of the wallet, just takes the whole thing. what if it just had like 20 bucks in there? i mean the kid's working part time at a pizzaria after school. he can't possibly have that much in his wallet.
am i going to turn into sushi again?
nope, just fly into the sky and explode.
i gotta say i really like the fluidity of the animation in this. the backgrounds may not be that much to look at, but the characters themselves just move real nice and springy.
OH GOD THIS SHIT IS HORRIBLE
DUDE
meet doctor icenstein
he has a german accent
doyle
doyle stop looking at the picture of an ass someone painted on the ceiling
things that tweak my jewfear:
german voiced doctor characters in this pose
it's
chilling
hohoho
READY SET TAKE TEST
AND DONT LOOK AT THE SMILEYFACE ON THE CHALKBOARD BEHIND ME
DONE
abuuuuuuuh
i like this tiny little grading machine icenstein has. but i hate grading machines because when you remove the human element from correcting a test you also remove any chance for personal defense of an answer.
for example say your test is a picture of a baby carriage and the question is "what's the first letter of this object?" and your choices are B, C or P. well B could be it - baby carriage. C could be it - carriage. even P could be it, for pram. but if the computer has one scripted correct answer, the student has no hope of their option being defensable if it's marked wrong because you can't argue with a computer (and most teachers these days barely even care to get into it). also that was a real question on a real test. in second grade, but still.
HOW DID YOU GET 100% IN TWO SECONDS
me personally i would have suspected doyle of cheating right at this point
teach, don't lecture me on what is and isn't possible. also don't ask why i'm getting dark rings under my eyes. it's a style, teach.
braaaaaains
i mean brainblaaaaaaaaaaasts
YIPPIE PUNK PUNKO MAH BUD MAH MAIN MAN WOOOOOOO
GIMME DRUGS FOR GYM CLASS
this is where the story begins to slip into unbelievable territory. i can believe easily doyle'd take drugs to help him pass two tests if his grades are sliding, but the kid's a jock. he has no reason to want to take drugs to pass gym because in all likelyhood he already does just fine in gym. also it's not totally clear how much time has passed between his brain blasts. one day? two? three? i think it's two judging by earlier in the episode stating when the championships are. uh.
but this just seems rather pointless. maybe the point is to illustrate he's starting to feel like a brain blast will help him with everything, all the time, even stuff he's good at all on his own?
anyway Punk tells him how much it'll cost
WHOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
so doyle runs off and uh
well he throws all his posessions in a box. i really don't know, this is why i say it stretches it at this point.
like i said, he doesn't NEED the drugs for gym. he's already passing gym. so why would he feel so desperate for a hit before gym class that he'd hock all his belongings?
apparently this phone doesn't actually belong to him
didn't know that honestly.
HERE YA GO
BIG BOX OF MY STUFF WITH MY NAME ON IT
TOTALLY UNTRACABLE
this is the face i make when i'm afraid something might fall on me
like the kitchen light
and this is the face i'd make if it actually fell on me
WHAT
DID DRUGS JUST TURN HIM INTO A ROOSTER
I GUESS THEY DID
ALSO A DRAGON????
AND SMOKE???
YEAH, THAT'S HOW I'D FEEL TOO
punk asks him if it's getting any better when he brain blasts. i guess he means like, less horrible.
NOT SO BAD ONCE YOU GET USED TO IT DUDE
i can't imagine anyone would ever get USED to turning into a chicken/dragon/sushi/fireworks
later...
FUCK YOU FUCKING LOCKER GIVE ME MY BAG FUCK
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S GALAXY GEOGRAPHY CLASS NEXT
WHY DOES THE GALAXY HAVE GEOGRAPHY GRAPHED ONTO A GLOBE THAT MAKES NO SENSE
IT'S A DISC
so doyle goes to geography class totally stoned
you can tell by the looks of the others that he's not hiding it well.
oh desk i love you
you're my real best friend
hush now
only whispers
the teacher, who is some kind of crater faced midget who requires a magnifying camera to even teach, has noticed doyle's behavior
kind of hard not to when he's making out with his wrist
HI, I'M PROFESSOR CRATERSTONE
SAY NO TO DRUGS
doyle leaps over his desk and takes over the class
SEE THIS SPHERICAL REPRESENTATION OF THE "GALAXY"?
WHY'S IT HAVE A GALAXY ON IT
WHY'S THE SUN PROMINANTLY FEATURED IN A SPHERE VERSION OF THE GALAXY? WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A HOLOGRAM OF IT IN ITS ACTUAL SHAPE?
USING A SPHERE TO REPRESENT OUR GALAXY IS ABOUT AS IGNORANT AS SAYING THE EARTH IS AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
I MEAN I'M JUST SAYIN WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO DRIVE THROUGH SPACE IN CARS AND BUILD HOCKEY PLAYIN ROBOTS?
BUT THIS IS STILL HOW WE VIEW OUR UNIVERSE?
DAMN, MAN
i love that he's angry TO THE CAMERA which in turn makes his projected image angry TOWARDS DOYLE. i just
i can't even :,>
i imagine lunch at galaxy high is pretty tough, you have such a wide variety of species you'd have to have like 300 different things to serve.
I DONT KNOW IF I LIKE HOW DOYLE'S BEEN ACTING says amy
REALLY SPACED OUT.
he's probably fine, says the pink lightbulb alien.
amy genuinely does sound worried here, and says out loud she hopes nothing bad happens to doyle - whatever's going on with him
aw amy :>
GOTTA GO FAST
punk looks really pleased to see doyle totally blazed out of his brain
oh god i just realized the internet probably has slash of them somewhere
and if it didn't, it probably does now
HAAAAAY PUNK
GIMME ANOTHER BLAST
I DONT NEED IT FOR A CLASS OR NOTHING ITLL JUST BE FUN
HOOK ME UP G
doyle has a sudden relapse of silenthill2 maniquin syndrome in response to the price a blast costs
fortunately this time his head remains attached. punk is unimpressed.
apparently the blast now costs as much as a car. if you're doing a drug that one dose is equivolent to the cost of a car (new OR used)? ITS TIME TO SEEK SOME HELP OR AT LEAST A CHEAPER DRUG, OKAY?
i don't even know if a drug exists that costs that much to be honest
also why does the price keep going up? it reminds me of bender selling roses. DEMAND SUDDENLY SKYROCKETED, YOU ALL SAW IT!
alternative answer: punk is just fleecing him cause he's a stupid earth boy
hum dee doo here we are doyle's friends on our way to our car mince mince mince
:O CAR GONE!
the face of a man making love to a skeleton
punk's all THANKS FOR THE RIDE
doyle's all THANKS FOR THE DRUGS
punk actually cautions him to take it easy, here. lemme repeat that
THE DRUG DEALER CAUTIONS HIM TO TAKE IT EASY ON HIS DRUG USE. his exact words are "take it easy on this stuff or you'll get really messed up."
so punk's not a BAD guy, he's not out to take over the world or kill/hurt children. he's just in it for the business. that almost never, ever happens in propaganda and the dealer CERTAINLY never advises moderation. if for nothing but that depiction, i'd say this deserves whatever award it was that it got.
doyle doesn't immediately use the brainwaves he just traded his friends' car for, and sneaks back to the school.
cause if it's one place you want to skulk around with pockets full of drugs, it's a school full of sentient robotic appliances.
NO WAY BUDDY
DO NOT PUT THAT IN ME
this is the real reason there's minimal drug use at galaxy high. self-aware lockers.
NO BRAIN BLASTER
IM SENTIENT, IM NOT TAKING THE RAP FOR YOU IF I GET SEARCHED
shhhhhhh
the walls have ears
HEY KIDS
WHATS COOKIN
WHATS HOT
those are his actual lines
that's like something parents would say if they walked in on a party a bunch of 16year olds were having
dude, someone stole our car!
also the phone from your room. and a bunch of other stuff. hell's up with that? we didn't call the police or anything but jeez.
doyle attempts a quick cover
UH YEAH MY DORM ROOM WAS TRASHED, I GOT HIT TOO
he's been taking hits he means
LOCKER SHHHHHH
well i'll just ignore what your locker said and hope that we somehow find those items
fatty stop groping bulbgirl out of shot, we all know what's going on we can all see your faces
so doyle heads to the locker room for psych hockey practice to blast his brains
you know it does feel weird to repeatedly type my name for a character in one of these BUT IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN SOME DAY
at this point doyle hears punk's words of "take it easy on this stuff or you'll get really messed up" echo. AGAIN, THE DRUG DEALER IS THE VOICE OF MODERATION HERE.
aw yeah
gimme dat sweet necter
THRILLERRRRRRR
THRILLER NIIIIIGHT
you might be urged to sing a little bit out of White Rabbit here
but i urge you to refrain
ITS THE HUMAN BLENDER RUN
what the fuck is that yellow wig with wings doing here
this is the face most people make when they listen to dubstep
i'm pretty sure
galaxy highschool: where losing your virginity and doing drugs basicly look the same
so this freakish wig watches doyle get high and then dance off to the playing field
god this wig alien is creepy
WHY DOES IT HAVE A CHAIN
BBALBBALLBBALLBAABABKAABBABABABAALALA
DAHOOOOO
8|
GET SOME REST
AND GET THIS FLY OFF MY LIP
much better
like i was saying, get some rest. your tweaking out like this makes me think you've been studying too hard.
by the way, championship's tomorrow. HOPE YOU'RE READY
CAUSE WE ARE GONNA WIN
BY WE I MEAN YOU
AND ILL BEAT YOUR EARTH ASS UNCONCIOUS IF YOU DONT
bbbbwooooookakakakakakka
i am gonna go right through this door
zwoop
doyle sets off in search of punk, because i guess at this point after three days of back to back brainblasting he really wants (or thinks he needs?) a brain blast for the championship.
i guess this is believable. i mean you spend three days on a drug bender with a drug that, when you need it to, kicks in and gives you the amplified abilities of champions. and the rest of the time you just stumble around all stupid happy and numb. so i guess it'd be reasonable that with his logic totally addled he'd think this was a good idea.
also punk hinted earlier in the show that he gives drugs to athletes to improve their skills.
OH DUDE
LOOK AT THAT WEDDING DRESS
THAT'S SO SAD
anyway he finds punk getting a new suit tailored. i guess punk was tired of the "flasher hobo sandles" look and decided to bring it up a notch to "purple pinstripe zoot suit"
can't say i fault him, it goes with his looks.
kid listen to me
first of all, super rude to go harass your drug peddler in public for drugs. that's a real good way to get your peddler arressted or at the very least have them cut off all contact with you
secondly, i'm busy jesus
and thirdly dude
thirdly
i have no drugs
i am clean
my supplier got caught on a run, so i got nothing
doyle can not take this information and asks where else he might get some brain waves.
punk whispers the location, and cautions that it's a really dangerous place.
meanwhile at the pizzaria, people seem to be waving their arms angrily for some reason.
there's a giant number two just sitting there
does anyone else see that? why is it there?
doyle's friends ask his boss if he's seen him at all. apparently he's been missing for a while and the championship game is tonight.
luigi threatens doyle with bodily harm, unemployment, etc. apparently he hasn't shown up to work and that's why everyone's all pissed off, including a digit.
GO AWAY YOU FREAKY WIG
hi kids i'm olly the bacterial cab driver
i know where your friend is. he went to south andromeda
that's where brain blasters all hang out. he tried to get me to drive him there but i took him to the bus station instead.
narky the wig tells them all he saw doyle taking hits off a brain blaster
THANKS NARKY WAY TO SPEAK UP BEFORE NOW
DO NOT SING
I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND FEED YOU TO A SPACE DOBERMAN IF YOU EVER SING AGAIN YOU ARE TERRIBLE AT IT OH MY GOD
amy, being a good friend, realizes they're going to have to intervene unless they want to see doyle seriously hurt. apparnetly south andromeda is seriously rough. she'll address this whole brain blasting thing later, when she knows what's going on for sure
because she does not trust the flying, singing wig
and i wouldn't either
TO SOUTH ANDROMEDA WEEEE
doyle, meanwhile, is on the space bus
space bus
looks like every bus i've ever ridden on, to be truthful.
doyle's stuck sitting in front of two south andromedia...andromadi...andromedod...TWO GUYS FROM THE PLACE HES GOING TO who really hate humans
i mean it
their entire conversation is about how gross humans are and how if they ever see one they'll beat the shit out of it
self preservation is in high gear, even on drugs
i have no idea who these aliens are, but the one on the left keeps talking about going to see her mother in a nasally voice that i guess is supposed to be like Fran the Nanny?
i bet if she's a regular she gets REALLY annoying
OH NO THEY NOTICE HIM LOOK OUT DOYLE
PURSE TO THE RESCUE
next stop drug city
i mean south andromeda
so south andromeda is...space vegas?
OH MAN GUYS LOOK AT THIS PLACE
HOTELS
AND A SHOW
AND A CAFE
AND AN ANK
MAN I WANT TO GO TO THE ANK YOU GUYS
you know it's a rough neighborhood because the C fell off their disco
no town with any self respect would let their disco fall into such a state of disrepair
apparently everyone in south andromeda is on brain blasters, all the time
hey wait A BALOSAR?
WHY ARE YOU GETTING OFF HEEEEEEERE THIS IS A TERRRRRRRIBLE NEIGHBORHOOOOOOOD whines the pink fran alien
well if for nothing else, to get the hell away from your wretched voice
so doyle starts wandering the streets whispering at strangers where he can get brainwaves
i'd fault him for subtlety but they all have brain blasters on. so rather than it being like walking through times square asking strangers where to buy crack, it'd be like walking through a crackhouse asking where to buy crack
helloooo
why is your nose a heaaaaaart
spare a brainwave for a human down on his luck?
jesus look at that pink guy in the background
uhoh, the two ruffians from the bus have spotted him
and they're going to make good on their threat to beat up an earthling
HEY LOOK A DAISY ALIEN!
RUN DOYLE RUN AAAAAAA
oh god oh god oh god don't come down this narrow alley from which i have no escape pleeeease
meanwhile in olly's taxi...
HURRY OLLY BEFORE WE'RE TOO LATE
AND HE GETS HURT OR BUYS DRUGS OR
I DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT JUST HURRY IM TOO GOOD A FRIEND TO FEEL ANYTHING BUT WORRY RIGHT NOW
amy :>
uhohhhh looks like doyle's found a drug dealer
this is a trustworthy fellow, right?
i mean when it comes down to drugs you just go to a random stranger, that's the way to do it. nope, no concern for your personal safety or the content of your drugs. just STRANGER LET ME HAND YOU MONEY IN RETURN FOR A PRODUCT I HAVENT SAMPLED
OH GOD HES NOT A DRUG DEALER
HE'S A FLASHER
THAT IS NOT A FACE YOU WANT TO SEE WHEN SOMEONE SWINGS OPEN THEIR JACKET TO SHOW YOU WHAT'S UNDERNEITH
haha just kidding he has brainwaves
and doyle agrees to pay him in the form of pizza.
aliens are weird.
PFFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
ooooh shit it's those guys who hate humans and swore they'd kill any human in south andromeda and previously chased me into an alley with the intent of beating me up
GOTTA GO FAST
did they see him?
yeah. they saw him.
doyle i hate to be a critic
especially since you're a big athlete and all but
you might run faster if you weren't trying to run sideways
OH NO A WALL
HOW DID THIS GET HERE
want to go to the pop store
watch the lumps on his arm
now you see 'em.
now you don't. quality animating.
they stop aburptly because out of somewhere comes a voice going THIS IS THE POLICE WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED
i guess hate crimes are still hate crimes, even in south andromeda. they flee.
SURPRISE ITS NOT THE POLICE ITS JUST US
YOU OKAY DOYLE?
oh yeah he looks great
welp let's go
DRINK
ROCK
ROCK
1126
HOTEL
rough place
other than olly, everyone seems genuinely glad to have doyle back safe in the cab, and not murdered by a gang.
amy confesses they were concerned he might have been brain blasting in south andromeda
DUDE WHY WOULD I BRAIN BLAST THERE, THIS IS FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP
YUP
THE CHAAAAAAMPIONSHIIIIIIIP
YOU THROW THAT OUT THE WINDOW RIGHT NOW
YOINK
how do you have six hands and find not a one of them capable of HOLDING A TINY VIAL?
DEHHHHHH 8}
fortunately bulbgirl has a phsyics-defying idea. OPEN THE WINDOW IN SPACE WOO
i missed capping it but she grabbed the vial
ALLEY OOP
NOOOOO
WAIT OH GOD MY FACE IS BEING SUCKED INTO VACCUUM
AAAAAAUGHUAHGAUUUUUUUGH
aaaaand back to the school
this is more or less the scene at the doctor's office any time i knew i was getting a shot, as a child
not a pretty scene
welp. time for the championship. i'm sure doyle will do great between the withdrawl, the fighting with his friends, and the general pressure of all the other aforementioned things. and his brain should be in tiptop shape after assaulting it with alien waves for a few days, sure
understandably he'd much rather just throw the match
AMY I CANT DO THIS WITHOUT A BRAIN BLAST
amy insists he has to do it anyway, because otherwise he'll never believe in himself something something something besides, he can't stay hooked on brain blasters forever
girl has a point, that shit did not appear cheap.
D.A.R.E
drugs are really expensive.
AND JUST TO MAKE EXTRA SURE YOU PLAY YOUR BEST
I HATE HUMANS, I HATE YOU, ILL KILL YOU IF YOU LOSE.
NO PRESSURE THOUGH
NO PRESSURE, THOUGH.
doyle debates throwing up on his face or bursting into tears
alright enough of this crap
LET'S BLOW UP SOME ROBOTS WITH OUR BRAINS
doyle's opponant is some kind of space gorilla
i bet if doyle hadn't got so freaked out over his grades/the racism/money/drugs/work/friends/everything he'd probably beat this guy easy
cause c'mon, space gorilla
they don't have a superior intellect no matter what that shit book "Ishmael" says.
awwwww he's scared awww
shut up i think it's a genuinely good frame in that it conveys his emotional state pretty solidly GO TO HELL IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE
doyle's blue/yellow again, space ape is orange.
and then someone ran naked down the middle of the playing field OOOOOOPS
i imagine this isn't as interesting as real hockey, because fewer fist fights break out.
on the other hand if a fist fight between robots DID break out, that'd be awesome.
doyle takes an early lead
look at some of these guys. is that a kappa in the very bottom row? is that some sort of adorable FLY ALIEN in the row above him on the far left? this show is my soul.
HOW DARE YOU TAKE OUT EVEN ONE OF MY GUYS DURING A GAME WHERE THE OBJECT IS TO TAKE OUT THE OTHER PLAYER'S GUYS
I HATE HUMANS
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
penalty, no robot sex on the field red team
doyle starts losing pretty fast
those robots are dying because of me
BECAUSE OF ME
OH GOD I CANT HANDLE THIS THE DTS ARE KICKING IN NGGGGG
crashing two of your robots right into eachother is a real crowd pleaser
welp, looks like he actually CAN'T win without drugs. who knew.
so doyle loses, and the space ape smarms it up
drugs are bad
but betting on sports is fine, gambling is totally harmless
i mean if this space chicken has to pay his debt by feeling himself up that's his choice right
YOU KNOW
I WOULD HAVE WON IF YOU GUYS JUST LET ME DO DRUGS BEFORE THE GAME :|
frogman from the black lagoon is just about to announce spaceape as the champ, wheeen
a galaxy police cop sidles up to him and whispers in his fin.
HMMMMM
excuse me mr ape
i'm going to conduct an illegal search of your person right now
what was this brain blaster doing under your shirt?
just holding it for a friend, eh? well let's just see if we can get your friend on the phone
DOWNTOWN
dohohoho galaxy policecop you're so FORWARD
seriosuly does it look like he's getting his butt grabbed to anyone but me
THE REAL MORAL: DON'T DO DRUGS TO WIN AT SPORTS, CAUSE THAT'S REALLY WHEN YOU'LL GET CAUGHT AND REGRET IT.
THE WINNER BECAUSE THE OTHER GUY WAS ON DRUGS
AND WE'RE TOO LAZY FOR A REMATCH
IS
THAT HUMAN KID THE CHICKEN IS BEATING UP ON
PLEASE BEAT UP ON HIM AFTER HE RECEIVES THE TROPHY, SPACE CHICKEN.
space chicken drawn by little gracie
age six
GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY YOU HORNFACED ALIEN FREAK
psst you haven't been brain blasting have you?
well actually coach i-
HAVE YOU??? HINT HINT
doyle says he owes his friends an apology and he really did it on his own without drugs yada yada yada...
except he didn't, he only won because the other guy got CAUGHT with drugs. ultimately if they'd both got caught with drugs it'd probably cause a ripple effect and brain blasting in general would be harder to do in the future but you know whatever
WHATEVER
i still don't blame him for turning to drugs considering the pressures he was being put under.
for extra confusing morals, lightbulbgirl admits here she tried a brain blaster once herself
she said nothing happened but that's like saying you took a puff and didn't inhale. I DONT BELIEEEEEVE
I WILL GET BACK YOUR STUFF THAT I STOLE
wait you stole our stuff?
WAIT GET BACK HERE WHEN DID YOU STEAL OUR STUFF
oh hey, what luck. the galaxy police are arresting punk at exactly this same time
punk whines that he's innocent, and i do have to wonder what he's getting arrested for
i mean he didn't have any brain blasts the last time doyle talked to him so can't imagine it's posession with the intent to supply
BUT WHATEVER LETS JUST END THIS STUPID CARTOON say the writers
well here's your stuff
good thing he didn't fence any of it
SPEAKING OF FENCE
I'M GOING TO USE ONE TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE WHAT DO YOU MEAN SKIPPING WORK
ALSO THERE'S SOME GUY IN HERE TO SEE YOU
HE SAID YOU PROMISED HIM PIZZA FOR DRUGS
GET YOUR ASS ON THAT CAUSE IT'LL BE HELLA LOTTA LONG NIGHTS AND HARD WORK TO PAY HIM OFF FOR THAT
WHAT? YOU NEED TO STUDY? TOO FUCKING BAD, NOW YOU HAVE TO WORK.
hahaha drug debt is funny
so what did we learn from today's Propaganukka gift?
well, we learned that pressure (like failing school, or being told the entire championship rides on you, or racism) can lead to drug use. we also learned that real friends are willing to help you BEFORE they lecture you, that sometimes your friends might also have tried drugs, and that drugs will get you kicked out of a sports tournament.
wait what the!
DID WE ACTUALLY LEARN REAL FACTS AND MORALS ABOUT DRUG USE TODAY?
WHAT THE FUCK
well it was all wrapped up in a nice package with lightbulb aliens, singing wigs and surfer talk so i guess that's okay.
see you tomorrow, everybody! get ready for your next present!