not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
hello faithful ?? subscriber? reader?

it's been a while since i last made a post. chemo has been going. i won't say going well because nothing about chemo feels well, it's like a week long hangover plus you're getting over a stomach flu or something. it really genuinely sucks and getting anything done is REALLY hard.

but i am managing to take care of myself at least. i'm almost to the end of my first group of chemo drugs that i have to take (adriamycin and cytoxan) and soon i'll start the other drug (taxol) that i have to take for 12 weeks.

i'm a little scared about changing drugs (who wouldn't be!! spend 2 seconds looking up what these things do and you'd be too D:) but there's nothing really to be done about it but to face it bravely. the big worry i have, though, is that this drug is so damaging to nerves that it can cause permanent nerve damage in extremeties. like uhm. my hands. and the way to prevent this is super low tech.... i sit with my hands in ice the entire time i'm being infused with the drug. to slow down the circulatory system, and prevent the drug from getting into the hands in any large amounts.

and i am NOT A FAN of being cold lmao

so... that'll be me once a week right up til summer. but after that, i'll be done with horrible poison infusions and my hair will get to grow back and i'll be able to eat sushi and pet strange dogs again.

in the meantime, i know it makes me sound like a broken record, but having cancer Is Really Expensive. if you can donate to help me out, i would be so thankful for it. i can't reliably take on side work right now because i can't reliably complete it, and it's not like my utility companies have a cancer patient discount plan. lmao i fucking wish right? so money... is tight. and i spend... a lot just on doctors now.

well. that's all i got. since i'm almost two weeks from my previous chemo dose right now i almost feel 100% back to normal right now, so i better karpe diem and get some stuff done before fatigue knocks me down. thank you for sticking with me. i genuinely appreciate it.

to donate:

square cash ap: $cial
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
hey folks. just a real brief update here.

i had my first chemotherapy appointment on the 7th. i've only these last two days begun to feel truly human again, and i'm still very easily fatigued by very basic things (a walk down the block, for example) but at least i can once again sit up in a chair. my immune system is shot, i have to wear a facemask even in some parts of my own house (and with the cats when they want to get in my face) and there's a laundry list of items i can no longer eat...

and they tell me the second chemo is worse than the first. that is coming up on the 21st. the effect is said to be cumulative. i'm well taken care of, but if i do not post anything or cannot create anything... well, you know why. it's pretty awful, i certainly would not suggest anyone do chemo just for the experience of it.

my tenative end date for chemotherapy at this time is june 13th. if i react badly to the medications (i have to go to the ER if my temp reaches a measly 100.5f for example) that date may be pushed back. but i'm determined for it not to be.

one project i'm still trying (and somewhat able) to work on while this ill is my audiobook version of the scifi book Sin in Space. you can check it out here:

i am also posting more regular updates to my twitter (@hi_cial) and photos of simon the sloth orb adventuring around doctors offices on my instagram (@hekshano) so feel free to follow those if you're curious how i'm doing on a more day to day basis.

see you again soon... with one more chemo visit behind me.
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
so no comic today, sorry, just an update on what's happening with cancer treatment for those following along.

here's my obligatory "i am starting chemotherapy" update.

the long of it is: because they found spots of cancer cells on the lymph nodes removed for examination during surgery, i did not dodge the bullet on needing chemo. i'm gonna be on a 5-6 month chemo treatment (the more intensive chemo, just nuke it all from orbit basically) called Dense Dose AC/T.

you can look it up if you want, but basically it amounts to "shit is about to suck, bigtime." chemo attacks fast growing cells, which include cancer cells. but it also includes: digestive system cells, the cells inside your mouth, bone marrow cells (making fewer blood cells, which means the immune system is junk) & keretin cells (hence why hairs/nails can fall out) in the process.

some things i'm not allowed to do on chemo include: eat sushi, pet strange animals, pet my OWN animals (without disinfecting my hands after), eat fruit/veg (including BANANAS) without washing the skin first, eat any kind of buffet style or 'fill a bag' style food (like by the lb candy), garden (if i MUST i must use gloves) use alcohol based mouthwash... you get the idea.

the very first medications prescribed to me were two (count em: two) hardcore anti-nausea medications. insurance will also cover medical marijuana for this. this is the real deal, folks.


if i turn you down for an invitation to visit/hang out, please do not take offense.
if i do not respond to things in a timely manner, please do not take offense.
if you want to help at this juncture, money (transit, "safe" food, prescriptions, potentially hiring a cleaner) is most appreciated if you can spare it. if not, moral support is just as appreciated.

i am about to become very, very sick to achieve the goal of killing the cancer cells potentially still floating around inside of me. i will miss my spring and my summer. but i will live.

chemotherapy begins on the 7th of march (this month) for me. it will be every other thursday for a while (7th, 21st, 4th etc) in boston at harvard vanguard. it will involve me sitting in the hospital for 4-6 hours each time. i am... not hype about it.

once i'm done with chemotherapy i will still need radiation therapy and after that endochrine therapy... but i will live. it will be a long, long year. but i'll still be here at the end of it. i got this.

thanks you for stickin with me.
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman update!

whew, here we go heading into the week of anthro new england!! i'm really excited. i hope i get to see some of yall there <3

recovery from surgery is pretty well on track at this point! i did have an infection (which are very serious w surgery!) so was on some heavy duty antibiotics the last week+. but that's finally over with, so horraaaay. come the 20th i'll be meeting with the oncologist again to discuss chemo and what other treatments i've got in my near future. which since there were some spots of cancer on the lymph nodes, i do gotta do. sucks!!! but better than dyin!!!

i want to thank everyone who's been so kind and supportive and patient with me these last couple of months. it's been really chaotic. i'm hopeful that chemo won't be so bad as to kill my productivity entirely but we shall see. in the meantime...

i made a little site for my audiobook reading of the pulp scifi novel Sin In Space!

also, if you have a moment to share or a few $ to spare, please check out my gofundme for payment of the water bill ... cuz while i was in surgery, a pipe burst and our basement flooded. classic luck!

but... luck can change, and i'm too stubborn (or stupid?) to be daunted. so enjoy the comic, i hope i see you at the con, and have a good one til next update!
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
no comic update yet, just a brief health update!

i'm healing from surgery. they took out the cancer and all cells that could potentially turn cancerous nearby, and by all accounts the operation went really really well. my obscene pain tolerance is doing me credit by enabling me to go through all this without the need for any kind of prescription painkillers. they gave me like, -one- oxy right after the op and i didn't need anything except extra strength tylonal after that haha.

so i am back home with the cats, recovering. i won't know for a few days yet still if i'll be in need of chemotherapy or not. i will def need radiation therapy. in a couple of days the surgical drains will be taken out though and i'll be able to sleep on my side again and whew... that's gonna be a relief.

speaking of sleep? seems like that's what my body wants to do to heal. after a few hours (by which i mean...two or three max) of being awake i get extremely tired and just gotta sleep. so if i fail to respond to somethin...well... i'm probably just sleeping.

i'll be working to try and get out the next comic page before anthro new england - which i am still attending, btw. cmon down to the dealer's den to give me a fistbump if you feel so inclined! i can't do hugs or high 5s just yet, but hey, i'll be glad to see ya. <3
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
hey friends - no update to the comic today, just a brief health update.

i'm going into surgery tomorrow to remove the cancerous tumors. i'll be held overnight, and released on the 30th assuming everything goes well. the surgery itself takes about 3-4 hours, and i'll probably be on some pretty bull goose painkillers when all's said and done. i will have my phone and tablet, but how much i'm feeling up to chatting etc will be veeeery up to debate lmao.

anyway, soon i'll know if i'll need chemo or if i can skip that and just go straight on to getting radiation therapy. i did get some good news today though, which is that there's no genetic markers for cancer when they did the screening. so at least my sister, cousins etc don't have to worry about that (or passing it on to their kids).

so hey, happy birthday to me lmao. 37 is gonna be a real doozy of a year.

love ya! see ya on the flip!
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman update

whats up friendssss. enjoy: this new comic page.

this coming monday is more doctor stuff. they're saying it's Staging which i guess means i might lose my Stage 2 diagnosis (t2n0) depending on what they find. it'll be a CAT scan and a bone scan. i've already had an MRI and a biopsy so... can't be MUCH left to do before they put me under the knife and get rid of the actual cancer itself. right? right...?

obviously it's a pretty stressful time. i've been drawing strength from all my dumb anime heros to get through it with my head held high but there's def still some very dark moments i feel, usually when i'm trying to sleep at night. but hey that's what the antidepressants are for amirite?

i'm absolutely determined though to do two things.
One: not stop making comics. if i made them with a benign tumor inside the bones of my drawing hand in 2010, i can make it with malignant tumors in my chest 2019!!
two: i will make it to anthro new england.

i am going.
i do not care.
if i have to break out of a hospital i will do it.

so if you are also going to ANE this year, i WILL be there to see you. but: please no hugs, because if i'm recovering from surgery that is probably just not a great idea lmao.

whew golly what a year. what a world. but hey i'm finally learning the boston train lines i guess lmao

see you next ferocious and friendly yall
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman update!

woops... posting this to the site rather slipped my mind for a few weeks. sorry about that. KINDA easy to be distracted right now because ...well... that vague "health scare" i'd been posting about? yeaaah

turns out i have cancer. it was confirmed via biopsy on the 28th. FUN TIMES.

i dunno what stage it's in yet, i'm honestly not that freaked out (cuz i suspected it was cancer the whole time, it's honestly a relief to be confirmed and know i'm now going to get it treated) and there's already a rough treatment plan in place consisting of surgery, then radiation, then chemo. that'll be my 2019!

i absolutely welcome yall reaching out to me if you feel like you wanna right now, even if we haven't talked in a while or idk, parted on rough terms. if not that's cool too, i very much understand people feeling overwhelmed to hear of this kind of diagnosis and needing distance to get their emotions sorted. but if you wanna reach out, hey. i'm up for that. i'll probably spend a lot of this year bored and stuck recoverig from medical stuff and need folks to chat with, is all.

just a few notes if you do...

- please don't say stuff like "well at least they caught it early!" bc they totally didn't. it's been an absolute chore to get them to take me seriously, because of sexism and transphobia in medicine. like i understand you're coming from a good place but omfg don't say that to me bc it just aint true lmao

- i. will talk about having cancer. like, it's a kind of major thing in my life rn and so if you're hoping to just avoid that subject cuz you can't handle it? maybe...think again...? cuz it's not gonna be avoidable.

- all of this is super time intensive and so if i don't respond to an email or a text or a DM or whatever, please don't take offense. i might just be too overwhelmed by juggling other stuff.

we good? ok we good. onward and upward into 2019, my droogs. the year i shall KICK. CANCER'S. ASS.
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman update

well now im all caught up on my hero academia and in hell with the rest of the fandom waiting for new issues and episodes. good times.

i cant much think of what to say here, cuz this entire week has mostly been me just trying to make it through a day at a time til my doctor visit next week. but i can say this!!

if you have a few bucks - any at all really- to spare? please, please help my friends out. these are very dear people to me and i really really want to be able to see them secure. they're currently struggling to afford housing. so yeah this is one of those "help these folks out so they arent homeless on the holidays" kind of fundraisers.

their goal is extremely modest too, theyre only like 800$ away. if all of us pitch in a little bit, we can close that gap!!

so please back my friends' fundraiser to keep their housing situation secure

ok thx... see ya later friends


Nov. 30th, 2018 12:09 pm
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman updated!

yall i cannot believe we made it to december. well provided we make it to tomorrow morning. what a harrowing year. let's hope next year it starts to turn around huh?

i finished reading my hero academia (or well, i caught up with it) and now i'm on to the anime. i'm enjoying it mmmmostly. still pretty tired of the shonen objectification of women as humor trope. what can u do i guess? the vast majority of the characters are wonderful and i love them. so many good kids learning their flaws. such a good bunch of teachers supporting them. hits me right in the education field feels. also aizawa is really just. life goal right there. love that man.

there's some kind of personal stuff going on in my life right now. not good stuff, really. medical related stuff. i don't want to go into detail because it's still in the testing phase. but that's kind of gnawing on my mind.

like i said...fingers crossed 2019 will be a good year. forward ho into december i guess, right?

happy hannukah (in case i don't post in time) and always remember cloud strife is a trans man and he and zack fair totally had a relationship while they were working for Shinra.

support me on patreon, where patrons get:
early comic pages
planning sketches
upcoming print edition re-drawn pages
and art rewards (if you can pledge a one-time 5$ pledge or 15$ or more a month)

even just 1$ a month makes a big difference and grants you access. it's the best holiday gift you can give me, so think it over!
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
inhuman updated

hows it shakin. im not great. okay good deal.

im reading my hero academia finally and im enjoying it. i only just got thru the Stain saga, so there's plenty still to go.

ok not im gonna go lie down i guess .. night
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman updated

hey friendos, im in the middle of the work day drawing for daily coin so i'll keep this kinda brief.

i've been playing crisis core (the ff7 zack game) on a rom for a few days now and while i have a looooot of complaints about how the writing of the metaplot is handled (or rather... not handled) and a loooot of complaints about what happens when you try to shoehorn in a celebrity's sephiroth OC and write a plot around that (looking at you gackt) its def got its moments of enjoyability. tho i wouldnt really reccomend it unless you were like stupid die-hard interested in..... well zack honestly. which i am. thanks sorry im a fanboy

in so much that i redrew a really old ff7 slash fanart of mine, which is this:

if you wanna watch a time lapse of the redraw thats on youtube.

other than that i finally got my hands on space monkeys escape from the 20th century album... and its enjoyable. helping me slog through my work week, for sure.

i have a Big Medical Transition Doctor Consultation coming up this next week i'm nervous about, but hopefully it'll go well. and on halloween i passed my 1 year on hrt anniversary. so woo to that, thats an accomplishment!

be strong be kind, have a lovely weekend.
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
inhuman updated!

hey hey all. so a few things real quick.

1- you may notice some minor layout changes to the site. there's some errors with the archive pages displaying the hi-res links the right size, i know about it, please don't worry! it's just not fixed yet.

2- we're halfway through inktober!!!

...okay that's all i got, i gotta get something to eat. later!

go back

Oct. 4th, 2018 02:23 pm
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman update!

hey hey friends, my fav month is here at last. and there's a new page up for yall to enjoy now too.

i've started doing inktober... tho its all ff7 fanart. of a sort. you can check that out on any old site you follow me on, but its mostly practice with an ipad at this point. i'll say one thing for it... its really nice to be able to draw in awful lighting anywhere i want to.

anyway i got not much else to say, so enjoy the page! later taters!
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman update

heyyyy yall, this fall is the fall of fursuits. im spending my free time finishing up alph's sphynx suit (which, btw, has made it EXTREMELY clear to me why there arent more sphynx suiters... ohhh my god) and being a hyena myself. last weekend i yeen'd around the king richard's ren faire with theon greyjoy (ok so ... it was kep dressed as theon but so what) and tonight i guess im gonna go drive gokarts around in hadley (outside amherst ma).

honestly my fav thing? showing little kids how the inside is set up so the mouth moves. GO FORTH AND MAKE PUPPETS AND MASKS, KIDS, YOU KNOW THE SECRET NOW. tho i've noticed that little girls are generally the only ones brave enough to ask questions. INTERESTING...

anyway in other news... i inherited kep's old ipad and pencil and i'm going to -try- to learn to use procreate. i only just got comfortable drawing with my decade old wired tablet on my laptop in firealpaca, so upgrading to the uhhh modern era of digital tools is going to be a serious learning curb.

not a whole lot else to say! patreon patrons are still getting access to the redrawn arc 4 pages as i finish them in anticipation of publishing the next book, as well as any random writing notes or whatever that i may have to share.

beyond that... things are pretty mild round here. so with that in mind... see you with the next page?


Sep. 15th, 2018 04:47 pm
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman updated

sploops, sorry folks. i meant to have this up yesterday. but one of the ratlings was exhibiting UTI symptoms so i lost a day franticly seeking a vet that treats rats & had time for new patient intake. she's got antibiotics now, and may need a followup on monday... but hopefully whatever's the matter was caught in time.

meanwhile uhhh i guess its summer again? new england please calm down.

im thinkin bout goin to the king richard's ren faire this weekend, but not totally sure. i never went before!

hey are you excited for the ff7 port to switch and animal crossing??? i kind of am.

i havent got much else to say. please consider supporting the comic on patreon if you're enjoying it!
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman updated

so after like, weeks of a heat wave, we finally have a nice cool day. and here i am wearing the heaviest hoodie i own because i just WANT TO HAVE HOODIE WEATHER, GOSH.

ive been really tired out lately, and i'm not entirely sure why. it sort of sucks. i miss the momentum of earlier days, but i guess given the way the state of things is in the country these days a level of baseline exhaustion is probably normal. the state primaries were earlier this week and i'm glad i got my vote in. if you're in america -PLEASE- remember to REGISTER TO VOTE and be sure to VOTE in the midterm elections this november! you can even start the process of registering online.

i'm having some major 90s nostaliga lately. last night i started rereading gaston leroux's classic (phantom of the opera) and out fell a torn reportcard that had been used for a bookmark the last time i read it. the reportcard didn't have a name or a location, but a list of classes and two teacher names visible (along with grades) which lead me to the realization that it wasn't my report card (i'd never taken band!) but was that of my bff in public highschool. meaning the book had last been read in 1999. dammmmn now i feel old.

the next page of the comic will be page 666. i must fight the urge to draw everyone hollow eyed and dripping blood from their sockets. which sucks cuz wow that sounds fun.

see you next time friends
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman updated!

hello friends. i just got back from tinypaws con in CT, which for -once- in a great many years i wasnt at to sell but rather just to enjoy myself. it was really nice to be able to sit down at art related panels (or just in a public space!) and have the energy to trade drawings with people and do gift art. also it being a very kid-friendly con meant that there were no super loud rowdy night parties going on. tho the 'adult only' events were almost all alcohol oriented which really is kind of a bummer for anyone who's in recovery... im hoping next year they'll do better on that front!

also inexplicably i just got back from scooping a tiny little dog up off the side of the highway where she was in danger of being hit and dropping her off at the vet in the arms of the animal control officer. did she see my shirt reading 'camp tiny paws' and know that i was a human to trust? or did this little dog just know i spent like 3 hours in the hotel room watching pitbulls and parolees and was primed to be a dog savior? i may never know. but hopefully she'll be back with her owner soon, since she did have a microchip! but she also looked like she needed some TLC. and smelled like it. oh god did that tiny dog smell.

also please appreciate that kep trefler (author of the Red Thread of Fate) has a severe bee phobia. and that i won the tinypaws con raffle for a bee hive. and that meant kep had to ride home in a car with a bee hive in it. there were no bees inside, but listen, that doesnt matter. please congratulate kep on not dying.

ok i need to go wash all the clothes i wore when i touched that little stray dog now. BYE
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman update!

oh god its hot right now. hello friends, im going to keep this brief i hope. im really tired.

if youre a fan of my work please please consider supporting it on patreon! in exchange you get to see all the redraws of arc 4 art for the upcoming book, like this redraw of pg 82! you don't even have to pledge a lot. even 1$ a month gets you access to all that stuff. including the psd files of the redraws, if you like that stuff (or just want to make horrible edits to my work and cackle, im down with that too)

of course if you pledge more, you'll get more. like drawings i will draw for you. think about it!

in real world stuff, ive started reading banana fish. which sounds cutesy (i thought anyway) and wow, isnt. its absolutely more like. post vietnam era mafia street gang conspiracy murder mystery stuff, and im completely hooked. i wish someone had told me about that a long time ago, cuz i always wrote it off cuz it sounded like such nonsense fluff! my bad, ha.

oh yeah... and i have two new lil rat girls. their names are sugar and skunk, and you can see their pics on my instagram. i love them.

til next update, friends...
not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
Inhuman update

hi, im writing this from yesterday. my neck is really achey though so i don't want to linger too long :B

something important: planned parenthood of massachusetts now offers hormone replacement therapy for trans patients. this is -very- new, and started just this month. but if you live in mass and have been waitlisted by The Only Other Provider In State Who Does That, give pp a call! they're really nice, it's a really excellent and welcoming organization and work very hard to give you a good provider-patient experience. i used to have to go over state lines to get my bloodwork and checkups, so this is a big deal for me personally too!

later this month i'll be getting two new small fuzzy friends. very small omnivore friends. i'm excited but still have a few weeks of prep.

and juts a reminder, if you like comic WIP stuff and previews of upcoming print art, or just pages emailed to you when i update, patreon is a great way to get those things! back for any amount you like - even 1$


not_fun: cial nixon jarhead (Default)
six ongoing cover bands, simoltaniously

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