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not_funi guess i should post before i fall back into depression sleep
pop didnt update in the morning like he said he would so i spent most of my day in an anxious rising panic worrying something had gone wrong at hte hospital overnight. thankfully the concern was needless but it threw my day way off. just total mess feelings from the moment i woke up.
stickers for PCCC have arrived, battery for scooter too. but the heat is so intense today that there's no chance of installing it right now. the heat is in fact so bad today it knocked out the phone and internet again. this has started to be a regular thing, whenever it passes 89 degrees outside theres a very good chance the telephone pole that acts as a t-mobile tower for us and sits atop a hill in the sun will suddenly stop being able to transmit. i'm pretty sure it just fully overheats. i really hope they figure out a perma fix.
the town arborist crew showed up earlier and took down one of the dead ash trees. not the one i thought strangely enough but whatever ok guys. they fed some of it into a chipper and left a lot of the trunk on the ground. i dont really care and dont think even if i was feeling mentally 100% i'd care either. enjoy your new house bugs and such.
started working on a few small paintings for pride, tried to stress paint some feelings. didnt get very far, cant be satisfied with my work when i'm in this headspace. curled up next to ren on the couch and slept a few hours.
i both want a frozen coffee and dont want one, at least now i can check my bank balance i guess.
audrey seems to think she lives in the dining room now that the guest room was used to trap her for medicating. honestly if this means she no longer pees down there, i will take it. just use the box child. just use the one of four boxes we keep clean and placed around the house for you.
very dehydrated but trying to fix it. motivation for anything else feels nonexistant. i hope my dad's doing well enough to be sent home soon, and i hope its a longer stretch between this and his next visit back to the hospital.
pop didnt update in the morning like he said he would so i spent most of my day in an anxious rising panic worrying something had gone wrong at hte hospital overnight. thankfully the concern was needless but it threw my day way off. just total mess feelings from the moment i woke up.
stickers for PCCC have arrived, battery for scooter too. but the heat is so intense today that there's no chance of installing it right now. the heat is in fact so bad today it knocked out the phone and internet again. this has started to be a regular thing, whenever it passes 89 degrees outside theres a very good chance the telephone pole that acts as a t-mobile tower for us and sits atop a hill in the sun will suddenly stop being able to transmit. i'm pretty sure it just fully overheats. i really hope they figure out a perma fix.
the town arborist crew showed up earlier and took down one of the dead ash trees. not the one i thought strangely enough but whatever ok guys. they fed some of it into a chipper and left a lot of the trunk on the ground. i dont really care and dont think even if i was feeling mentally 100% i'd care either. enjoy your new house bugs and such.
started working on a few small paintings for pride, tried to stress paint some feelings. didnt get very far, cant be satisfied with my work when i'm in this headspace. curled up next to ren on the couch and slept a few hours.
i both want a frozen coffee and dont want one, at least now i can check my bank balance i guess.
audrey seems to think she lives in the dining room now that the guest room was used to trap her for medicating. honestly if this means she no longer pees down there, i will take it. just use the box child. just use the one of four boxes we keep clean and placed around the house for you.
very dehydrated but trying to fix it. motivation for anything else feels nonexistant. i hope my dad's doing well enough to be sent home soon, and i hope its a longer stretch between this and his next visit back to the hospital.
