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not_funnot to keep posting im tired but fatigue sucks and im tired. i was even tired coming back from the woods today! heavyfooted, for certain. maybe it's seasonal change or maybe i'm still recovering from surg but i feel like no amount of sleep is enough, no amount of caffeine is enough. and i think about my parents at my age and compare and it feels like something is very wrong on my end. i'm sure it's just the result of chemo, rad, covid, covid again, full on rise of fascism, changing seasons getting me down and i'll get a LITTLE better. but i don't think i'll ever get a LOT better? and it sucks, because there's much more i'd like to do than i can do.
need a team of psychic kobolds around here or something
been working on designs for halloween cuz i cant decide. i think my self confidence is low which means my commitment to any given idea is low (i doubt it has any legs) and so cant commit a finishing effort. again, im pretty sure the whole government deploying troops against its own citizens and calling me a terrorist for not having a dingaling is a big part of whats holding me back and it's really annoying to know that you can be aware of something and accept radically you cant control the thing and still the thing can maul you on like a metaphysical level
been rewatching twin peaks s3 slowly. finished up to book 3 of sakamoto days and finished off the hospice nurse book ("the in-between") that i had meh feelings about. i dont know i'd give it to anyone unless they needed a sappy pick me up ahead of death, personally. started phoenix wright: justice for all again because its been so many years i've forgot all the case details. i'd have started from the first game, but can't find it? it's been a good cooldown at night. i also read some alan moore comic that i felt was extremely meh with hp lovecraft in it, but i had picked up the like b-side prequel/sequel story somehow so i cant say i shouldve expected much from alan moore does a lovecraft fanfic.
i've been trying to avoid just anxiety attachment to my cell phone which is why ive been picking up books and comics all over.
doing livestreaming on an 8 day schedule ... taking some adjustment. need to learn what days of the week are best for folks. i still struggle with enjoying livestreaming itself as a task. i really think its the performative aspect, and ever since i was a kid i've hated being put out to perform. even if it's an introduction i'm just like oh no please do not put the panopticon on me?? idk, its ok, the worst ive ever had to deal with has been a few scammers
alph just walked in and we were going to finish s6 of columbo tonight i think.
later
need a team of psychic kobolds around here or something
been working on designs for halloween cuz i cant decide. i think my self confidence is low which means my commitment to any given idea is low (i doubt it has any legs) and so cant commit a finishing effort. again, im pretty sure the whole government deploying troops against its own citizens and calling me a terrorist for not having a dingaling is a big part of whats holding me back and it's really annoying to know that you can be aware of something and accept radically you cant control the thing and still the thing can maul you on like a metaphysical level
been rewatching twin peaks s3 slowly. finished up to book 3 of sakamoto days and finished off the hospice nurse book ("the in-between") that i had meh feelings about. i dont know i'd give it to anyone unless they needed a sappy pick me up ahead of death, personally. started phoenix wright: justice for all again because its been so many years i've forgot all the case details. i'd have started from the first game, but can't find it? it's been a good cooldown at night. i also read some alan moore comic that i felt was extremely meh with hp lovecraft in it, but i had picked up the like b-side prequel/sequel story somehow so i cant say i shouldve expected much from alan moore does a lovecraft fanfic.
i've been trying to avoid just anxiety attachment to my cell phone which is why ive been picking up books and comics all over.
doing livestreaming on an 8 day schedule ... taking some adjustment. need to learn what days of the week are best for folks. i still struggle with enjoying livestreaming itself as a task. i really think its the performative aspect, and ever since i was a kid i've hated being put out to perform. even if it's an introduction i'm just like oh no please do not put the panopticon on me?? idk, its ok, the worst ive ever had to deal with has been a few scammers
alph just walked in and we were going to finish s6 of columbo tonight i think.
later
